People living outside Lagos state does not know how "lucky" they are, issues like traffic jam and high cost of transportation is strange to them.
Despite the fact that we pay through our nose to get to destinations, the condition of the various means of transportation is nothing to write home about. {Thank God for BRT}
Its bad enough that we have to sit in traffic for hours, we also have to cope with the the rudeness of drivers of commercial buses and their conductors.
The reputation of these people {commercial drivers and conductors} is so bad that when the Lagos state government came up with BRT a lot of us Lagosians want more more of such buses {Though many of the BRT staffs are gradually degenerating in their act}.
It's a common site for find conductor abusing passengers or even fighting them. Customer service is the last thing in their mind. As far as they are concern, they are doing you a great favor.
Surprise is the word when you see a conductor showing his passenger customer service. See the picture below.
Even our so called blue chip companies like banks, telecommunication etc will not do more than this.
2. Be prepared to ram anything stopping you wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic warden,FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, lastma, lamata, laswa, even lawma sef)
3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle 5hun), and if they don’t agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office except you wanna pay X10
4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date)
5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.
6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plague
7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have NO brakes
8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25yrs.
9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos , potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).
12. Always Horn when taking off, when slowing down, when overtaking, when they are overtaking you, when someone else horns at you, when others are horning and you dont know why (its good manners). when playing along to a beat on the radio...the list is endless....
13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your whole Saturday @ the panel beater’s place.
14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first)
15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos . Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.
16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.
17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.
18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.
19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos .
20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.
21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.
22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.
23. Remember that the goal of ev 2. ery driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.
25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!
Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through Lagos and hustle and bustle.
